03/09/2026
A couple of months ago, while I was up late one night in my studio painting a mandala, I heard a voice that took me straight back to one of the most traumatic moments of my life, the voice of the man who murdered my older brother Nathan. Since then I’ve been navigating some really deep waters with my mental health & as September arrives, I can feel my whole being bracing itself. I’ve always dreaded this month because it carries so much trauma & memories that live in my body long after the calendar has moved on. While everyone else is celebrating the arrival of spring, September has often felt like my deepest winter. So if I’ve been quieter or sharing as much, this is why. I haven’t disappeared, I’ve been doing deeper work, allowing myself to be held & finding my way back to me.
Last year knowing this season was coming I intentionally created moments to receive nourishment, connection & care when I knew I would need them most. So this year as we worked through the details of receiving my moko kauae, we landed on 30 September, my Dad’s 90th birthday. That date carries grief because he has passed but it also gives me an opportunity to create something new within it.
As I find my feet again & we move closer to receiving my moko kauae, I want to open this space back up & hear from my sisters who have received theirs. Plssss share what you’re comfortable to share about your journey because there may be a wāhine quietly watching who needs to see what becomes possible when we stop waiting for permission & begin claiming what has always been ours. Your story may become the guiding spark that lights the way for another sister, helping her see more clearly what is possible for her too.