10/12/2026
It's never really been my norm to “pop next door for coffee” or casually invite friends over for dinner. I didn’t grow up seeing or doing that kind of socializing.
Still, when we bought our first home in 2019, I had grand plans. I imagined parties, dinners, people coming over all the time… once we finished renovating, of course. And then, as big plans often do, they were interrupted by life.
COVID happened. I started a business. Illnesses, responsibilities, one thing after another.
We’ve hosted family events, like Thanksgiving, and I’ve had a friend over here and there, but I still haven’t become someone who regularly opens my home to people. And at this point, I’m not even sure I want to.
Part of that is probably about the house. I still have things I want to finish, fix, organize, and change.
But I don’t think that’s all of it.
COVID also showed me that some people I considered friends really weren’t. And sometimes I wonder how much of my hesitation to invite certain people into my home is connected to that.
Then there’s social media.
You share a corner of your house that looks good. A holiday table. A project you finished. A quiet Saturday morning.
And sometimes people start believing those little moments are your entire life.
They don’t see the pile sitting just outside the frame. The room you still haven’t finished. The things that need fixing. The everyday evidence that people actually live there.
There’s something very vulnerable about letting someone into your real home, not the version you photograph, clean up, or prepare for company. Just the lived-in version.
For me, the question has become less about whether my house is “ready” for people and more about who I actually feel comfortable letting in.
It used to be quite normal to pop next door for a coffee or invite friends over for dinner. But not any more. What’s behind this change – and just how damaging is it?
