10/11/2026
💀💜 DEATH GRIP FOR MORTALS HAS ESCAPED THE LAB!! 💜💀
🚨 THIS IS NOT A DRILL. 🚨
TWO MONTHS. 8 FORMULAS. ONE WINNER. ONE DEAD HAIR DRYER.
💀 OFFICIALLY AVAILABLE AT TEASE DANCE AND AERIAL FITNESS!!! 💀
What started as a slightly unhinged idea from an unhinged comment became 6 weeks of formula testing with real pole dancers, followed by 2.5-ish weeks of production, packaging, and launch chaos.
All from my desk in the living room/kids' playroom, affectionately known as
🧪 POLE MAMA'S M**H LAB. 🧪
Picture it: a pitcher, a hot plate, and me obsessing over wax ratios in front of a computer screen. Then came DUAL MONITORS, because apparently grip-making requires MISSION CONTROL. 😂
After a ridiculous amount of math, ⚖️ every tube individually poured, weighed, inspected, labeled, and packaged and approximately 48 moments of questioning my life choices (not actually counted—shocking), we made it to the shelf!
🔥 Casualty report: one hair dryer went POP, SPARKED, SMOKED, and DIED during shrink-wrapping. Rest in pieces, brave soldier. 👻
But today I stood beside something I CREATED FROM SCRATCH, surrounded by friends cheering me on, and I almost cried. 😭💜
HUGE love to Lynzhi of for her encouragement, feedback, and support—and to for giving my little potion 🔮 its first retail home!
And to every single tester, friend, and family member who encouraged me, gave honest feedback, or listened to me ramble about wax ratios like a completely normal, well-adjusted adult... I LOVE YOU WEIRDOS. 💜
✨ THE GOODS ✨
💀 SMALL — $10
🖤 Black | 🤍 White | 💚 Green | 💜 Purple
Colors are PURELY for whimsy! NOT different strengths or formulas. Same winning grip inside every color!
💀 LARGE OVAL — $18
Same formula. Bigger tube!
📍 Find the display at TEASE and scan the QR code to pay Nix's Novelties directly!
From POLE MAMA'S M**H LAB: DUAL-MONITOR EDITION to an actual retail shelf. 😍
💀💜 MADE BY A MORTAL. FOR MORTALS.
BECAUSE GRAVITY SHOWS NO MERCY. 🔥
P.S. The replacement hair dryer has been informed of the working conditions. 😂
