22/10/2026
Some parents expect children to behave better than the adults raising them.
A child gets frustrated and throws a tantrum. The parent shouts. The child talks back. The parent insults them. The child loses control, and the adult responds by losing control even harder.
Then the child gets labelled disrespectful.
We have somehow decided that children must learn emotional regulation from adults who refuse to practice it themselves.
And before anyone starts confusing this with permissive parenting, let's be clear. Children need rules. They need consequences. They need to learn that their actions affect other people.
But they also need adults who can correct bad behavior without humiliating them, set boundaries without screaming, and say no without turning every disagreement into a power struggle.
Respect cannot mean that children must stay quiet while adults are allowed to behave however they please.
Being older doesn't automatically make someone emotionally mature. Being a parent doesn't automatically make someone patient. And having authority over a child doesn't mean every reaction is justified.
The old-school argument that children should simply obey because adults said so might produce quieter children, but quietness alone doesn't prove that a child feels understood, secure, or respected.
Our job isn't to make children convenient for our schedules, our moods, and our exhaustion.
Our job is to raise people who can manage their emotions without making everyone around them miserable.
If we expect children to learn self-control, adults need to stop treating their own lack of it as an acceptable parenting style.