08/20/2026
With the Lindsey Clancy story being in the news, I feel like sharing my own mental health journey is more important than ever.
I can't imagine the amount of horror, grief, and regret someone could experience after doing something unimaginable during a severe mental health crisis. I know that, at times, my own mental health challenges have caused me to act impulsively or make decisions that I deeply regret. That doesn't excuse those choices, but it does remind me how important it is to talk honestly about what mental health crises can actually look like.
So here’s my update.
On Monday, I shared what my anxiety attack felt like. What I didn't share was that I never completely recovered from it. I went to bed that night still shaking and using controlled breathing to keep myself grounded and present.
The next day was another difficult day, especially because I had to drive around town for several different things.
I started the day feeling relatively positive. I knew a little more about what to expect, and I made it through the first two trips without any problems.
By the third trip, though, I knew I was in trouble.
I was trying to hold on to every part of me that knew everything was going to be okay. And then, for a few seconds, something shifted.
I stopped caring about myself or the people around me and made a few dangerous decisions.
I'm not proud of that.
I'm incredibly grateful that I was on my way home and that nothing happened. Because in those few seconds where I wasn't okay, lives could have been changed forever.
That's a terrifying thing to admit.
I had reached a point where I had simply had enough.
And I think it's important to say this out loud because things like this happen more often than most people realize. Mental health crises aren't always visible. Sometimes someone can look completely fine from the outside while internally they are fighting like hell just to stay in control.
I am currently in a C-PTSD episode, and I am working my way through it.
Yesterday, I made the decision to completely shut everything down and rest. No phone. No social media. No obligations. Just rest and calming activities. I ended up watching a really good miniseries called I Will Find You, and honestly, sometimes doing absolutely nothing is exactly what your brain needs.
I also saw my therapist yesterday and my psychiatrist today.
My psychiatrist increased my lamotrigine and Trileptal, we're adding another anxiety medication, and my clonidine had already been increased at my previous appointment. I am getting help. I am taking my medications as prescribed, and I am doing everything I can to stay on top of this.
I know I'm fortunate to have access to that support, and I don't take it for granted.
The reality is that all of this also takes a toll on my chronic pain. When my nervous system is constantly on high alert, my body feels it too.
I'm not sharing this because I'm proud of what happened.
I'm sharing it because this is my reality right now.
Mental illness can be messy. It can be frightening. It can make you do or think things that don't feel like the person you know yourself to be.
But I'm still here.
I'm getting help. I'm resting when I need to rest. I'm learning to recognize when I'm reaching my limits, and I'm doing my best to make the safest choices I can.
This is my story.
And for anyone else quietly struggling through something similar: you are not the only one. 🖤🖤🖤
