06/05/2026
I have officially discovered my superpower! 🦸♂️🌩️
We are big Marvel fans in my house. We love watching the Avengers, Captain America, Iron Man, and especially Spider-Man. The boys love putting on capes and jumping off the furniture (even though they know they’re not supposed to be standing on it).
But my superpower doesn't involve capes. It involves the weather.
As a professional window cleaner, my morning routine is pretty standard: wake up, make coffee, check the forecast, and load up the truck.
If the weather app says clear skies and sun all day? We’re good to go. A 13% chance of rain? No problem.
But when the forecast gets iffy, that’s when my superpower kicks in.
Now, we don’t clean windows in the pouring rain, we don’t stand on metal ladders during thunder and lightning, and we don't tug on Superman's cape... you know the song. 😉
But clearly, the weather app can’t actually predict the weather. We all know this, yet we’re all still frustrated by it!
It gets tricky because my nephew, Kevin—who happens to be my best (and sometimes worst!) employee—drives an hour to work with me every single day. Because of that commute, I have to make the final call by 7:00 AM on whether we are working or rescheduling.
And that is where my "useless superpower" alters reality:
Scenario A: It’s currently raining, radar shows a 68% chance of severe T-storms, and the percentage is rising. Seems like a total no-brainer, right? I make the tough call and reschedule all of our wonderful clients for the day.
The result? The moment the cancellation texts are sent, the clouds magically part. The sun blazes. A cool, crisp breeze rolls in. It instantly becomes the most beautiful, perfect day for cleaning windows in human history. ☀️
Scenario B: The weather app warns of an 88% chance of torrential downpours, but I look outside and it’s a gorgeous, cloudless morning. The radar looks clear. I tell myself we won't be fooled again, so I call Kevin and tell him we’re a go. He drives an hour, we load up the truck, and the exact second we pull up to our first customer's house... the sky splits open and it monsoons on us. 🌧️🚌
So there it is. My useless superpower: I control the weather simply by making the wrong schedule call.
Why couldn’t I get lightning speed like The Flash, or be able to shoot professional window cleaning solution out of my wrists like Spider-Man? 🕸️🧼
Noooo. Instead, I get the power to accidentally create perfect sunny days just by staying home.
Drop a comment below: What’s your most useless real-life superpower? 👇
