06/02/2026
5 years ago I shared this on my personal page
And I would like to share it here because it is my journey, my story, my truth and so very much why The Painted Antler Company stands true today.
The finding of children's bodies in a mass grave this past week opened up wounds I didn't know were there and some new ones. My gramma was one of the people taken, and lived a horribly sad story. For my close friends, you already know it. For those who don't, it was a "school" of horrors for her. We didn't know much until her time was almost ending on this earth. And we believe that is why she didn't acknowledge our culture. She was scared, she was scarred, and she for sure didn't want it to happen to her children. And as Hunter has been saying latley her "voice was stolen". The trauma grew with my family in ways we didn't see. And a result, I grew up and didn’t get to connect to my culture really at all, and our family does not have "status" with our tribe.
I actually remember as a young child feeling caught between the white people and people like me. It's a feeling you dont know unless you've experienced it.
One specific time I went to a church gathering with a friend and her mom said "wow, you're the darkest skinned person here." I was so offended and I remember from that point on I did look at myself different. Not native enough, but not white enough either. Caught between. I started to recognize how people treated me different and I remember wishing that I wasn't native looking. I was so young and hated the color of my skin. Humiliated by my origin.
As an adult, I’m taking back my power and learning as much as I can about my history and I use my artwork to empower my heritage and culture. I found that I am comfortable in this brown skin and that took me years to get here. I still experience certain things and see the subtle racism that so many have thrown my way. I understand white privilege because I've seen it in action against me. But it won't tear me down anymore.
I believe I play apart in acknowledging my privileges that came from growing up in a colonized household though, and not experiencing or acknowledging the pain that my gramma went through. Not being able to connect our lives to the intergenerational trauma that was so much there.
I now get to give my son a different experience and a voice he deserves, a voice to reclaim our heritage and feel the power that comes from knowing who you are and where you came from. And that is stronger than anything else I have ever known. He is a pretty cute kid and the native in his blood runs thick.
It could have been my family in one of those graves but it wasn't and it wasn't for a reason. I don't apologize if my posts have been bugging anyone latley. Because this is my calling, this is who I am and I am finally celebrating it because the native in my blood runs thick too.
We are resilient and we are still here even after all the horrors they put us through and continue to put us through.
This is the time in Canada, the teachable time, to rise up in support of one another against injustices that happened.
This is the time to get on board and help that change, or step out of the way because we are taking back our lives, bodies, and our origins. We aren't ashamed of ourselves anymore, but instead the people who took that away from us.
