12/10/2022
I thought this week would be a good time to come back on here and have a little chat with you all about why I’ve been very much MIA this year.
Sadly someone very close to me has been severely suffering with their mental health.
I have had to step away from working in order to help care for this person and support others - while it was hard to stop working, the decision to do so wasn’t. When people need you, they need you. Everything else has to take a back seat.
Despite it being almost EIGHT MONTHS since we reached out for official help, we’re still waiting. It’s hard, it’s painful and it’s relentless. It feels so personal it hurts.
Spending these last few months supporting this person and others - and still doing so - has been hard on my mental health too. It’s a serious knock on effect so everyone around you when you’re struggling. It’s unintentional but seemingly unavoidable.
You try SO damn hard to be everything - parent, wife, friend, daughter, family member - that you forget to be there for yourself.
In all honesty, not only is this person lost, I have been too. I don’t really know up from down right now. I can’t knit. I can’t crochet. All my usual “lifelines” I turn to aren’t there anymore. It’s so bloody hard.
The hardest thing of all - for me and the person I’m trying to hard to support - is asking for help and relying on people to give you that help. So now I’m asking you on behalf of people in your life who might be struggling - reach out and offer your ear; listen and try to just do that. Often talking about your problems is the biggest source of relief. Just let them know it’s ok to not be ok, that it’s ok to talk about it.
I’ve always tried to be there for people but this year I just haven’t been able to. I’m hoping that changes soon, because honestly I really miss being there for those who need me.
Now I’ve filled you in (in a distanced way so I can protect peoples privacy) I wanted to let you know that I’m going to try to start dyeing again soon. I hope to by NGY again soon 💕
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