23/12/2025
Welcome to our AI-generated Heartwarming Festive Photo Album. Ideally, we’d have organised a real photo shoot, but for one reason (time) and another (money), we decided to let the robots do the work. Read on for scores and critical commentary.
Photo 1: Amarena Cherry Cheesecake. It looks decent enough at first glance, but there’s no way two scoops of real gelato are holding their shape in front of a roaring fire like that. And there’s something unnerving about that spoon. 6/10
Photo 2: Tubs On Tree. Nothing embodies the true spirit of Christmas like a branded Christmas tree, and this one looks real enough. The wall, floor and shelves are made of the same material, though, which feels like a bold interior design choice, and makes the photo feel like a budget wooden version of that scene in Inception when the city bends up and over and in on itself. Which was cool. But made us feel queasy. 5/10
Photo 3: Enrico, Sam and Santa. Again, it survives the first glance test. But the real Enrico and Sam are never that happy in each other’s company. And what’s with the branding on the tubs? And where is Enri’s left hand? Inside Santa’s glove? Come on, robots, you’re better than this. 4/10
Photo 4: Enrico, Sam and Santa in the Snow. Okay, this makes sense. It was hot inside with that big fire and all the laughing, so everyone came outside for fresh air. Believable enough. But why are the tubs so big? They look like drums. And Enrico and Santa’s hands are at it again, losing independence in a mangled ball of sausagey confusion. Are they shaking on a deal? Have we just locked Santa into an exclusive 5-year influencer contract? Why can’t they have their own hands? All in all, unsettling. 3/10.
So there we are. Our first AI-generated Heartwarming Festive Photo Album. Was it heartwarming? No. Will we do it again? Maybe. If you have any photos you’d like to see included in next year’s album, let us know.
Have a lovely Christmas everyone. Thanks for lending us your eyeballs here on soshal meeeedja, and for buying our tubs in real shops in the real world. We really appreciate it.
See you next year.
