24/09/2026
Imagine being brought back from the dead, only to discover some bloke has already decided your entire fu***ng purpose: keep him company, adore him unconditionally and presumably bring him his slippers while he moans about his miserable existence. Congratulations, you're not a woman - you're apparently a fu***ng subscription service with stitches. You didn't crawl out of a laboratory and become someone's emotional support co**se. If he thinks you're going to spend eternity catering to his every whim, give him the most terrifying thing imaginable: a woman who knows her fu***ng worth and is no-ones participation trophy.
Scented with dark black wilted rose, smoky oudh, and a hint of “Sounds like a fu***ng you problem,” this candle is gothic, mysterious and dripping with defiant feminine energy and a pulse of pure rage. Hand-poured with coconut and soy wax, vegan and cruelty-free, it’s perfect for anyone who'd rather rise from the grave than spend eternity serving a man who thinks women are accessories with a cleaning function.
Pro Tip:
Light this when someone expects you to manage his feelings, organise his life and applaud him for doing the bare fu***ng minimum. Remember: you can reject a man without providing a PowerPoint presentation explaining why he's a disappointment.
Warning:
May cause spontaneous feminist resurrection, dangerously strong boundaries, rejection of patriarchal bu****it and the overwhelming urge to send entitled men straight back to whatever fu***ng crypt they crawled out of.
Scent: Black Wilted Rose + Smoky Oudh
