10/06/2026
It’s confession time …..
For many years I have been a member of a rather exclusive organisation known as The Society of Colourful Flat-Packs.
Officially, we don’t exist.
Unofficially, we’re everywhere.
From my local chapter headquarters, aka The Studio, I oversee the careful conversion of woven assets into bespoke people wrappers for myself, my husband, and various younger members of the family.
Naturally, the Society is always seeking new recruits. Under the perfectly respectable cover of a teaching business, I introduce promising candidates to our ancient traditions and specialised equipment, including the Buzz-Box, the Pointy Wheel, and the occasionally temperamental Needle-Powered Processing Unit.
At first, recruits believe they’re simply learning a useful skill.
Then they begin collecting operational schematics.
Soon afterwards they acquire a modest quantity of woven assets.
Then a slightly less modest quantity.
Before long they’re referring to an entire room as “the stash” and speaking almost entirely in code.
For example:
🔹 “I was just popping in for a look.”
Translation: I have returned with three bags of cloth currency.
🔹 “It’s an investment piece.”
Translation: I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to do with it.
🔹 “I’ve got enough woven assets to keep me going.”
Translation: I require additional woven assets immediately.
🔹 “I’ll just finish a few projects first.”
Translation: I have started planning six more.
🔹 “Oh, this old thing?”
Translation: I made it myself and have been waiting all day for someone to ask.
Society members can often be identified by their extensive textile archives, strategic deployment of colour-coded string reserves, and the curious ability to spot a bargain from fifty paces.
We’re a friendly lot, really.
We simply believe that life is better with beautiful people wrappers, fresh cloth currency, and an ever-growing collection of operational schematics.
If any of this sounds familiar, I regret to inform you that you’re probably already a member.
🤫
