Totally Unraveled

07/25/2024

Walked around Stephen’s lake with my babies and their dad today- still having supervised visits but at least I’m getting more time

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to the occasion opportunity to show off my body that I’ve been working so hard to feel comfortable in

In fact, I take full advantage of my new life and take every opportunity to dress for my own pleasure and comfort which at times has caused a bit of a stir within my children and their father but I was judged when I was 230 pounds covering up everything and I’ve been judged for being 145 pounds and showing a bit of my mid drift and thighs in shorts and a cropped tank in 98 degree weather

I’m not sorry about how this all turned out because my kids get to witness me in my comfortable state of being

I no longer feel the need to hide what I like about myself

My son said he didn’t like seeing my belly in my cooped tank and I said well that’s too bad cuz I like my belly and it’s hot as ever outside so I’ll wear what I want

I hope he perceives my great awakening as his mother took back her own life and made it better

The work I’ve put into myself and my life is showing up in every aspect of my life and im truely feeling happy with where I am

I lost a great love that couldn’t get with the program and that’s okay because I’ve learned to really look out for me and be there for myself in every situation

Now it’s time to get back to the daily grind

07/13/2024

https://youtube.com/shorts/z7b9PhzKMCw?si=qBMpd3gqmHuBRIXF

Richard's Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/SPARTANLIFECOACHWebSite: www.richardgrannon.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/richard.grannon/

07/05/2024

https://youtube.com/shorts/Cxh9lsxUz2U?si=TY_Fe-pZsTVzYNTW

There is no reason that man would ever truely listen to a female, especially when she starts talking about feelings.

I always said the only way for our marriage to survive is if I suppress all emotions and doubts. And after I did it for so many years, I mentally broke completely.

All is well and good in Leticia’s world, each day I’m one step closer to having my maiden name back and no longer feel awkward as hell when I state my married name and I clearly should have never been taken.

Maybe my identity will be easier to find then.

Jordan Peterson explains the consequences of not listening your partner in a relationship. .. ...

06/08/2024

I’ve been so depressed over the last few months trying to fight off negativity that weighs me down every morning.

From making the effort to look presentable before work to accepting the new uniform from one job to all the harassment I endured in the past week for my soon to be ex husband

Had two interviews for two different higher paying positions for my dispensary job and I’m crossing my fingers that I get word back about the most recent!

Sometimes the sweet pictures I get of my kids are enough to get me through to the next week and now I’m planning to take a couple breaks from work this summer and I’m hoping all works out as planned to have time with my kiddos

11/17/2023

Little bit of mall time with my babies and they wanted to take a picture so I can look at it whenever I want and remember that I spent time with them there.

11/12/2023

I’m lost is the sloppy sauce of life

I miss my kids’ energy every day

I may very well have been the problem but my problem was that I couldn’t watch my babies be happy children

I couldn’t enjoy time with my kids without the weight of the world on my shoulders

It’s just too much for a single individual to live through silently.

Maybe I am chasing the life you bragged about so much to me.

I want to have happy moments and enjoy good company

I want to continue to build the friendships that I’ve started

I’ve been feeling heard and cared about

I’ve been feeling safer then I was a few months ago

Still scared of everything and my guard is up for everything to an annoying extent

But…

I’m still here

11/07/2023

Finished this copy cat top to the one I made Zoe 😏

This one is getting posted on my Shopify😊 just need to finish setting it up

Loving the way it looks on my but still having a lot of trouble seeing myself for who I am - in the mirror

I guess this is part of grieving a relationship that you were so sure was “normal”

Trying to teach myself that every negative things others have said to me were intended to get my reaction

Trying to show myself that it’s healthy to share the things that your proud of with others

I’m proud of how much work my body can put in on a weekly basis

I’m proud that I made it another week on the positive side of life

No matter what how hard some people will try to tear me down, I’ll always shine as bright as I’m meant to

11/06/2023

Just a small ounce of Lety’s life lately

Been doing a lot of working on my, as well as working 62 hours a week, catching up on sleep and trying to avoid too much contact with my husband who won’t stop trying his very best to make me feel like s**t

Still I send what I can and buy what I can for my kiddos

I made this too for my friend- took a little too long to finish but I’m making another one for sale- keep an eye out

Also opening a Shopify site to start selling- check it out soon

The last photo is a bruise that I have from falling off my bike on Friday when i realized how lonely I am and the fact that I only have me to lean on for all things in life

Sucking it up every day, I made my bed and now I’m lying in it

Ya girl can still crochet like crazy and I ain’t stopping here

10/20/2023

Had a little bit of fun trying clothes on today and bought a whole outfit for $20, saving over $90 at kohl’s!!!

Needed this retail therapy after a terrible first supervised visitation

I just feel forced to be uncomfortable in order to spend time with my kids but I’m doing the best I can to cope with this flickers

There is a lot that I’m learning about myself or at least letting lose

I’ve always been one to try on clothes randomly and I didn’t have any obligations today so I did that and took my time and ended up with an amazing deal and a cute fit

Life is just looking up and I’m stoked for the fall kids sale cuz I’ll actually be able to attend with cash in hand proudly 😇

10/13/2023

It felt so good to spend time with my kiddos today
This life that I’m living, currently, doesn’t look “good” to society and I’m starting to accept that I’m never going to be fully accepted
But neither will anyone else
As sad as that fact is, we are not alone in this
From me - To me: “Let the criticism hit hard and work that energy out of your beautiful vessel to allow the positive energy to flow from within you to spread the light you were meant to spread from the time you were named Leticia”
This name everyone questions you about has meaning all around the world- of joy and happiness
That’s all I’ve ever wanted to give off but I’ve been conditioned to give off what I receive
The negativity that the world shares with me and forces me to be a witness to is hard to fake a smile through
I’m loving that every time I’ve shared something positive in my life my friends have cheered me on and made me feel like I do really deserve all the good that is happening.

10/03/2023

I’ve never been spiritual or religious but I always wanted to believe in something

Within the last two week I’ve had to find it myself to believe in ME

I believed that I could trust another human with my fears to help my feel safe and heard

Then I believed that I could lean on my friend from work that I only met 4 short months ago

Then I believed that I could force myself to avoid contact because the trauma bonding was calling me

I may have used my best power and dissociated with reality for the past two weeks but what I can say is that

I’ve risen my bike over 35 miles since Friday and I was offered to start training for supervisor at work

I also am working on a couple side part time gigs because this girl let her credit go to s**t and there’s only one way to make it in this world

If I can’t be with my kids than I’ll make life for my babies easier with the fruits of my hard labor

Just you watch and see