Designing Moves LLC

Designing Moves LLC Professional. Detailed. Personal. Accredited Senior Move Managers to help you move and downsize By Appointment Only

  from Designing Moves President Christine Smart:"The Kids Don't Want Anything" — Until They Do It's a phrase we hear al...
08/25/2026

from Designing Moves President Christine Smart:

"The Kids Don't Want Anything" — Until They Do

It's a phrase we hear all the time in this work: "My kids don't want anything."

Parents say it with a shrug, sometimes with a little sadness underneath it. We're helping them sort through a lifetime of belongings — furniture, china, photographs, the things they chose or collected or were handed down through generations — and their grown children have said no thanks, take it to donation, we don't need it.

And then something shifts.

We start sending photos. A box gets opened. A cabinet gets emptied out onto the table. And suddenly the kids who "didn't want anything" are asking questions. “Wait, is that the lamp from the living room? Didn't Grandma have a set of teacups like that?” Memory does something a list can't do — it stirs. And once it stirs, it turns out most people do want a few things from home. I think that's exactly what most parents hope for, even when they say otherwise: that their kids will want some piece of what they worked hard for, gathered over the years, or carried forward from the generation before them.

This scenario took on new meaning for me recently, on a personal level.

The Bluebird Dishes

Since last October, when Mom moved to memory care, I've been slowly cleaning out my parents' home. Mom was endlessly creative — she loved to entertain, and she decorated in ways most people would never think of. And she had dishes. So many dishes.

Along the way, I asked our daughter more than once if she wanted anything. She declined most of it.

Recently, our whole family was together at the house, and while she was there, my daughter asked about the bluebird dishes.

My heart sank. Those had already gone to auction.

Mom loved those bluebird dishes — they were her thing, distinctly hers — and I had let them go. I felt terrible telling my daughter they were gone. "I thought I asked you," I said.

Her reply has stayed with me: "I thought they would always be there."

I remembered there were a couple of platters left, and I promised to save them for her. She said something else I haven't stopped thinking about: that she would always look at them and think of being here, at the house, when we were all together.

Read More 👇

https://www.designingmoves.net/post/the-kids-don-t-want-anything-until-they-do

This year's Cedar Rapids Elderly Consortium Senior Expo was a great success! Thanks so much for hosting us! We talked to...
08/12/2026

This year's Cedar Rapids Elderly Consortium Senior Expo was a great success! Thanks so much for hosting us!

We talked to so many community members, reconnected with long time industry friends, and networked with many new ones.

What a great day!

Thank you for representing Designing Moves Nancy Cortez, Sammy Messerli, and Megan Bartos

Designing Moves is setting up at Cedar Rapids Elderly Consortium's 2026 Senior Expo! We'll be armed with information and...
08/10/2026

Designing Moves is setting up at Cedar Rapids Elderly Consortium's 2026 Senior Expo! We'll be armed with information and ready to discuss downsizing, aging in place, senior moves, and more.

🗓️ Wednesday, August 13

🕒 12pm - 3pm

📍Kirkwood Community College: Linn County Regional Center, 1770 E Boyson Road, Hiawatha, IA 52233

This event is FREE and open to the public. Stop by and say hi 👋

Today was a scorcher 🥵 as temps crept into the 90's, but it didn't deter our team from getting out to volunteer at Etzel...
07/27/2026

Today was a scorcher 🥵 as temps crept into the 90's, but it didn't deter our team from getting out to volunteer at Etzel Sugar Grove Farm in Marion, IA! This working farm is an extension of Cedar Rapids based Indian Creek Nature Center.

We helped reinforce and organize a shed for their bee keeping program 🐝 It's always a great experience working with the ICNC crew and today was no exception.

Our team members possess a wide range of talents that never cease to amaze. It was incredible watching everyone lend their skills to today's project and accomplish meaningful work for one of our favorite community nonprofits ✨

Events like these are a reminder that each one of us offers something special to our clients, and that it truly takes a village 🏘️ No matter who it's for, or where it is, the Designing Moves crew can make any space more functional and of better service 💪

  from Designing Moves President Christine Smart:Finding the Right Attorney for Estate Planning: Why It Matters More Tha...
07/16/2026

from Designing Moves President Christine Smart:

Finding the Right Attorney for Estate Planning: Why It Matters More Than You Think

When my family began navigating the complexities of my parent's estate planning, I quickly discovered that finding the right attorney was every bit as frustrating as battling an insurance company. The process was eye-opening — and costly in ways I hadn't anticipated. Not all attorneys are created equal, and in a field as nuanced as estate planning, the gaps in knowledge between one attorney and the next can have enormous financial and legal consequences for your family.

🙅‍♀️ Not All Estate Planning Attorneys Know What You Need:

Estate planning sounds like a straightforward specialty. Write a will, set up a trust, designate beneficiaries. But the reality is far more complex, and many attorneys who list "estate planning" among their services may lack deep expertise in the areas that matter most for your specific situation.

💼 How to Recognize the Right Attorney

When I explained what our family needed, the right attorney did something the others hadn't: he asked questions. Specific, informed questions. He wanted to know which documents were already in place, what work had been done, and what the current structure looked like before offering any direction. He was building a complete picture rather than selling a standard solution.

👀 What to Look for When Searching for an Estate Planning Attorney

Based on this experience, here are the questions worth asking before you commit:
1. Are you familiar with the Caregiver Child Exemption, and have you successfully executed transfers under it?
2. How do you handle estate planning when Medicaid planning has already taken place?
3. What is your current understanding of stepped-up basis rules for trust assets following recent IRS guidance?
4. What is your typical response time for client follow-up?
5. Can you walk me through what documents you would want to review before advising us?

🔎 Keep Searching Until You Find the Attorney Who Sees the Whole Picture:

One of the most valuable things I learned through this process is that not all trusts are equal, and a trust that was set up years ago may no longer be the best structure for your situation today. That doesn't necessarily mean scrapping everything. It may make sense for some assets to remain in an existing trust while establishing a new “generational trust” to better serve the rest. A generational trust is designed to pass wealth across multiple generations in a way that protects assets from estate taxes, creditors, and the complications that can come with direct inheritance.

If your family is navigating parent care, Medicaid planning, or property transfers, consult with an estate planning attorney who has specific, demonstrable experience in elder law and caregiver exemptions. The difference between the right attorney and the wrong one could be measured in your family's financial security for years to come.

I am not an attorney and this is not legal advice, sharing experience only.

Read More 👇
https://www.designingmoves.net/post/finding-the-right-attorney-for-estate-planning-why-it-matters-more-than-you-think

  from Designing Moves President Christine Smart:When the Quiet Man Starts Talking: Finding My Dad AgainThere's a kind o...
06/17/2026

from Designing Moves President Christine Smart:

When the Quiet Man Starts Talking: Finding My Dad Again

There's a kind of father the world doesn't make enough noise about. The one who left before sunrise and came home after dark. The one who worked twelve-hour days, six days a week, not because he loved being away, but because he loved his family more than he loved being comfortable. He didn't say it often. He showed it in callused hands and a paycheck that kept the lights on, food on the table, and a roof over everyone's heads.

That was my Dad.

He came home to a meal already made, laundry already folded, a house already cleaned — and in that season of life, that was simply how things worked. Mom held down one kind of fort. Dad held down another. It was a partnership built on roles, on rhythm, on quiet understanding. And it worked.

Then Dementia and Alzheimer's walked through the door, and nothing has been the same since.

But before I get there, let me tell you who this man really was — because a few sentences won't do it justice, and he deserves every one of them.

My Dad did not stop. For anything. Kidney stones that would send most men to the floor? He pushed through. Once, cutting a frozen hog water line, he accidentally stabbed himself — and kept going. Well into his seventies, he was still throwing bales of hay like they weighed nothing, like age was simply a suggestion he hadn't gotten around to following. He was the kind of man who didn't complain, didn't slow down, and didn't ask anyone to carry what he believed was his to carry.

He was also, for several years running, a million dollar tractor salesman. In an era when that meant something, he was out there building relationships with farmers, earning their trust, and delivering on his word. He was good at it because he understood the land and the people who worked it. Then the farm crisis hit in the 1980s, and the industry he'd built his career in buckled beneath him along with thousands of others. That wasn't weakness — that was circumstance. And he adapted, the same way he adapted to everything else life threw at him. Quietly. Without a lot of fuss. And in the way that only hindsight can reveal, that crisis led Mom and Dad to something they had always dreamed of — moving to the farm they have called home for the last 37 years, and finally living out the dream they had always carried: owning a farm of their own.

That was my Dad.

When Dementia and Alzheimer’s enter a family, it doesn't just steal memories — it reshuffles everything. The man who never needed to ask for help now needs a little more help. The woman who kept the household running becomes someone you have to visit in the nursing home, love differently, grieve while she's still here. The tables turn in ways you never could have prepared for.

And somehow, in the middle of all that grief, something unexpected happened, beyond finding out he can wash his clothes and make a sandwich.

My Dad and I started talking.

Not the way we used to — the quick check-ins, the nods across the dinner table or the short exchanges when I was home visiting. Really talking. Every single day now, there's a conversation, and those conversations have quietly rebuilt something between us that I didn't even know was missing.

I hope you find some time to reconnect with your quiet hardworking Dad this year!

Happy Father’s Day, Dad!

Read More 👇
https://www.designingmoves.net/post/when-the-quiet-man-starts-talking-finding-my-dad-again

The Boomers Are Turning 80. Now They Want To Change Old Age.The number of octogenarians is growing and they have big ide...
06/10/2026

The Boomers Are Turning 80. Now They Want To Change Old Age.

The number of octogenarians is growing and they have big ideas for spending, healthcare and housing.

Having reached octogenarian levels, a generation that shaped much of our past is shaping the future of aging for themselves and those who follow. They want better healthcare and housing, cures for dementia and a say in when to die. New professions and products will appear. Their massive spending will shift and innovators will follow.

As a whole, these oldest baby boomers are better educated and wealthier than previous generations—although huge inequities exist. More than other age groups, the boomers turn out to vote, which gives them a voice in what happens with public healthcare programs, like Medicare, as does their spending power.

The 80s also marks a time when people begin to think about moving from their home. Here, too, “boomers are changing everything,” says Meredith Oppenheim, who worked in senior housing for 25 years and founded Vitality Society, an online community for older adults.

Boomers are focused on well-being and longevity, says Oppenheim. If they do consider senior living, which many don’t, everything should revolve around those two goals. Think plant-based meal options, muscle-strengthening classes and art studios. They’ll insist on having a voice in how their money is spent on programs and security.

They also need more affordable options. Entry fees on life plan communities average between $100,000 and $400,000 but can reach $7 million. Average monthly fees are close to $5,000, well above what many 80-year-olds can afford. Senior living communities will find ways to lower costs, offering less frequent meal plans and visiting, rather than on-site, nurses.

A large share may skip senior living and stay at home, adding elevators and widening doorways. The remodeling industry will explode. That can be expensive, which is why we may see more multigenerational households or shared housing.

By Clare Ansberry, The Wall Street Journal, April 13, 2026

Read More 👇
https://nasmm.blog/2026/04/21/the-boomers-are-turning-80-now-they-want-to-change-old-age/

Coping With Caregiving When You're Not WantedIf you are caring for an unwilling participant, several strategies may shif...
05/26/2026

Coping With Caregiving When You're Not Wanted

If you are caring for an unwilling participant, several strategies may shift the dynamic in a positive direction. If not, it's OK to walk away.

Whether it's pride, a loss of control or cognitive decline, everyone comes with a history and a diagnosis. Not only are role transitions in play, but personalities and family dynamics can be as well.

Carrie Ditzel, PhD, Director, Clinical Health Psychology & Geropsychology for Baker Street Behavioral Health, offered that asking questions, calling a family meeting or working with a family physician are all ways to seek to understand what's at the root of your person's resistance and to begin shifting their perspective. "Oftentimes, it is simply a process of acceptance. It takes people time to adjust to being cared for, particularly when they may have always been the person in charge," she explained.

Princella Seymour, author, CEO, and founder of Complete Elder Solutions, advised giving back the power rather than taking it. "Relinquishing control is hard for most people and is almost always met with denial, especially when it comes to dementia," she said.

One strategy Seymour offers caregivers is to invite your person into the decision-making process, albeit with limited options. For example, ask "Would you prefer me or an agency to help with your medications? Or "Which hours do you want a caregiver to come in — 10:00-2:00 p.m. or 2:00-6:00 p.m." Her point, by providing choices, is that you're letting your person know that something is going to happen, but they can still have a say in the "how."

Caring for someone who doesn't want or cannot accept your help, such as one with a brain disease, can come at a high cost emotionally, physically, or can irreparably harm long-term relationships. If you discover you're genuinely not wanted, Seymour recommends allowing yourself some boundaries.

So, how do you know when to let go of the reins?

There are several signs that it may be time to either reduce the primary caregiver's duties or transfer care elsewhere. The first sign is that you are not taking good care of yourself or the other people in your life. Another is when you're often feeling angry and resentful toward the person you're caring for, or when caregiving is causing significant stress for either party. And lastly, you or your person is in danger, is aggressive, or presents other safety risks.

Read More 👇
https://discover.tpt.org/nextavenue/coping-with-caregiving-when-you-re-not-wanted

✍ Sheryl Stillman, Twin Cities PBS, January 30, 2026
📸 Getty Images

  from Designing Moves President Christine Smart:She Is Still Here, and She Is Already Gone; On loving the mothers we ar...
05/13/2026

from Designing Moves President Christine Smart:

She Is Still Here, and She Is Already Gone; On loving the mothers we are losing slowly, and honoring the ones already gone.

The Designing Moves team spent this past weekend honoring mothers in our lives. Mothers being celebrated, mothers being patiently, faithfully visited, and mothers being quietly, fiercely missed.

There is a grief no one warns you about — the kind where she is still in the room, still warm, but the thread between you has gone thin. Dementia makes you mourn someone who hasn't left yet. And on Mother's Day, that ache can be very hard to name.

Whatever form your love took this Mother's Day — a Sunday brunch, a quiet visit to memory care, a drive past the house she used to live in, a long cry over a shoebox of birthday cards — it is love. All of it. The tender, complicated, aching, enormous love of people who were shaped by a woman they will never stop carrying with them.

🪻She is in the way you laugh.

🌷In the things you can't throw away.

💐In the fact that you remembered, when she no longer could.

With love, for all the mothers — here, fading, and gone.

  from Designing Moves President Christine Smart:She Is Still Here, and She Is Already Gone; On loving the mothers we ar...
05/13/2026

from Designing Moves President Christine Smart:

She Is Still Here, and She Is Already Gone; On loving the mothers we are losing slowly, and honoring the ones already gone.

The Designing Moves team spent this past weekend honoring mothers in our lives. Mothers being celebrated, mothers being patiently, faithfully visited, and mothers being quietly, fiercely missed.

There is a grief no one warns you about — the kind where she is still in the room, still warm, but the thread between you has gone thin. Dementia makes you mourn someone who hasn't left yet. And on Mother's Day, that ache can be very hard to name.

She may not remember your name and still light up when you walk in. Memory is not the only thing that holds love in place.

Grief settles into objects. Into things that were never supposed to matter as much as they do. You go to sort through a drawer thinking you'll be efficient — and come out an hour later having found her favorite jewelry tucked somewhere "safe" — a place so careful, so considered, that no one can quite remember where that was supposed to be.

If your mother is still with you — in any version — go to her. If she is somewhere in the fog, go anyway. A song can reach her when words cannot. You don't have to be remembered to matter. You just have to show up.

Some find comfort in giving her things new life. The apron to the daughter who loves to bake. The books donated to the local library or a charity close to her heart. There is grace in that — in letting her belong to the world a little longer.

For those sorting through what remains — whether she is gone from this world, or simply gone from herself — be gentle. It is not weakness to cry over a wooden spoon. It is not weakness to keep the things you can't explain: the ones that feel warm to hold, that make the room feel a little less quiet.

Whatever form your love took this Mother's Day — a Sunday brunch, a quiet visit to memory care, a drive past the house she used to live in, a long cry over a shoebox of birthday cards — it is love. All of it. The tender, complicated, aching, enormous love of people who were shaped by a woman they will never stop carrying with them.

🪻She is in the way you laugh.

🌷In the things you can't throw away.

💐In the fact that you remembered, when she no longer could.

With love, for all the mothers — here, fading, and gone.

Read More 👇
https://www.designingmoves.net/post/she-is-still-here-and-she-is-already-gone

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