Designing Moves LLC

05/26/2026

Coping With Caregiving When You're Not Wanted

If you are caring for an unwilling participant, several strategies may shift the dynamic in a positive direction. If not, it's OK to walk away.

Whether it's pride, a loss of control or cognitive decline, everyone comes with a history and a diagnosis. Not only are role transitions in play, but personalities and family dynamics can be as well.

Carrie Ditzel, PhD, Director, Clinical Health Psychology & Geropsychology for Baker Street Behavioral Health, offered that asking questions, calling a family meeting or working with a family physician are all ways to seek to understand what's at the root of your person's resistance and to begin shifting their perspective. "Oftentimes, it is simply a process of acceptance. It takes people time to adjust to being cared for, particularly when they may have always been the person in charge," she explained.

Princella Seymour, author, CEO, and founder of Complete Elder Solutions, advised giving back the power rather than taking it. "Relinquishing control is hard for most people and is almost always met with denial, especially when it comes to dementia," she said.

One strategy Seymour offers caregivers is to invite your person into the decision-making process, albeit with limited options. For example, ask "Would you prefer me or an agency to help with your medications? Or "Which hours do you want a caregiver to come in — 10:00-2:00 p.m. or 2:00-6:00 p.m." Her point, by providing choices, is that you're letting your person know that something is going to happen, but they can still have a say in the "how."

Caring for someone who doesn't want or cannot accept your help, such as one with a brain disease, can come at a high cost emotionally, physically, or can irreparably harm long-term relationships. If you discover you're genuinely not wanted, Seymour recommends allowing yourself some boundaries.

So, how do you know when to let go of the reins?

There are several signs that it may be time to either reduce the primary caregiver's duties or transfer care elsewhere. The first sign is that you are not taking good care of yourself or the other people in your life. Another is when you're often feeling angry and resentful toward the person you're caring for, or when caregiving is causing significant stress for either party. And lastly, you or your person is in danger, is aggressive, or presents other safety risks.

Read More 👇
https://discover.tpt.org/nextavenue/coping-with-caregiving-when-you-re-not-wanted

✍ Sheryl Stillman, Twin Cities PBS, January 30, 2026
📸 Getty Images

05/13/2026

from Designing Moves President Christine Smart:

She Is Still Here, and She Is Already Gone; On loving the mothers we are losing slowly, and honoring the ones already gone.

The Designing Moves team spent this past weekend honoring mothers in our lives. Mothers being celebrated, mothers being patiently, faithfully visited, and mothers being quietly, fiercely missed.

There is a grief no one warns you about — the kind where she is still in the room, still warm, but the thread between you has gone thin. Dementia makes you mourn someone who hasn't left yet. And on Mother's Day, that ache can be very hard to name.

Whatever form your love took this Mother's Day — a Sunday brunch, a quiet visit to memory care, a drive past the house she used to live in, a long cry over a shoebox of birthday cards — it is love. All of it. The tender, complicated, aching, enormous love of people who were shaped by a woman they will never stop carrying with them.

🪻She is in the way you laugh.

🌷In the things you can't throw away.

💐In the fact that you remembered, when she no longer could.

With love, for all the mothers — here, fading, and gone.

05/13/2026

from Designing Moves President Christine Smart:

She Is Still Here, and She Is Already Gone; On loving the mothers we are losing slowly, and honoring the ones already gone.

The Designing Moves team spent this past weekend honoring mothers in our lives. Mothers being celebrated, mothers being patiently, faithfully visited, and mothers being quietly, fiercely missed.

There is a grief no one warns you about — the kind where she is still in the room, still warm, but the thread between you has gone thin. Dementia makes you mourn someone who hasn't left yet. And on Mother's Day, that ache can be very hard to name.

She may not remember your name and still light up when you walk in. Memory is not the only thing that holds love in place.

Grief settles into objects. Into things that were never supposed to matter as much as they do. You go to sort through a drawer thinking you'll be efficient — and come out an hour later having found her favorite jewelry tucked somewhere "safe" — a place so careful, so considered, that no one can quite remember where that was supposed to be.

If your mother is still with you — in any version — go to her. If she is somewhere in the fog, go anyway. A song can reach her when words cannot. You don't have to be remembered to matter. You just have to show up.

Some find comfort in giving her things new life. The apron to the daughter who loves to bake. The books donated to the local library or a charity close to her heart. There is grace in that — in letting her belong to the world a little longer.

For those sorting through what remains — whether she is gone from this world, or simply gone from herself — be gentle. It is not weakness to cry over a wooden spoon. It is not weakness to keep the things you can't explain: the ones that feel warm to hold, that make the room feel a little less quiet.

Whatever form your love took this Mother's Day — a Sunday brunch, a quiet visit to memory care, a drive past the house she used to live in, a long cry over a shoebox of birthday cards — it is love. All of it. The tender, complicated, aching, enormous love of people who were shaped by a woman they will never stop carrying with them.

🪻She is in the way you laugh.

🌷In the things you can't throw away.

💐In the fact that you remembered, when she no longer could.

With love, for all the mothers — here, fading, and gone.

Read More 👇
https://www.designingmoves.net/post/she-is-still-here-and-she-is-already-gone

04/25/2026

How To Downsize Your Garden 🌼

Like most gardeners, you have probably accumulated watering cans, pots, seeds, gardening tools and other items that take up space. While you stored everything in a garage or shed, that most likely won't be the case when you move. You also probably invested a ton of time and care into growing the loveliest flowers and vegetables on your property, but what happens to all that hard work when you leave?

This article explores the practical and emotional ways to adapt your green thumb when you move to a smaller home. While it may mean leaving your garden behind, there are fortunately many ways to capture the essence of your former garden and continue your hobby so that it brings you joy and meaning for many years to come.

🌿Nitty Gritty: Once you acknowledge and address how you feel, it's time to get into the nitty gritty of what to do with all your plants and gardening supplies.

🌿Dealing With the Leftovers: After you decide what to take with you, it's time to figure out what to do with everything else: sell, donate, pass down or preserve.

🌿Make the Most of Smaller Space: Whether you have a tiny patch of grass, balcony or porch at your new home, you'll need to adjust how you garden.

No Room Outside? If there's absolutely no way for you to set up a garden outside, there's still hope. From growing plants indoors to volunteering at a local community garden, you can still enjoy your favorite relaxing hobby after you relocate. Regardless of the downsizing circumstances, there is sure to be a way to continue enjoying your favorite relaxing hobby that fits your new lifestyle.

Read More 👇
https://www.nextavenue.org/how-to-downsize-your-garden-when-you-move/

✍Sandi Schwartz

04/09/2026

from Designing Moves President Christine Smart:

🔅Beat the Heat: Clean Out Your Attic Before Summer Arrives🔅

Spring is the perfect window to tackle the one space you've been putting off —
before heat and humidity make it unbearable.

The attic holds a lifetime of memories — and a whole lot of stuff that needs to go. Now is the time.

If you've been clearing out a family home, like I have, you know the pattern: tackle the kitchen, the bedrooms, the garage — then look up at that pull-down staircase or the little door to crawl under the eaves and quietly decide today is not the day. The attic waits.

But once summer arrives, that window closes fast. Attic temperatures can climb well above 100°F by July. Spring — right now — is your golden opportunity. Here's how to make the most of it.

Read more 👇
https://www.designingmoves.net/post/beat-the-heat-clean-out-your-attic-before-summer-arrives

📸 Christine_Kohler / Getty Images

04/03/2026

Why ‘Aspirational Clutter’ Is Some Of The Hardest To Part With

Clutter, it may surprise you to learn, isn’t a monolith. There are all different kinds: visual clutter, digital clutter, easy-to-part-with clutter. Distinct types of clutter call for different approaches to controlling them, and one of the trickiest sorts to contend with is what’s known as aspirational clutter: those things we hold on to because they represent the version of ourselves we would like to be, even if we aren’t quite there yet.

“Aspirational clutter is the collection of items we keep because they represent who we hope to be, not who we realistically are right now,” says Ann Lightfoot, co-founder of Done & Done Home and co-author of the book “Love Your Home Again.” “These items aren’t useless — they’re tied to goals, identity and good intentions — but they quietly create guilt and overwhelm and stall progress when they pile up.”

Serving pieces for parties you’ll never throw are just one of the common forms aspirational clutter can take. Some of these will probably also sound familiar:

📚Books you want to read
🏋Exercise equipment
🗄Bins, containers and organizing products
🎨Craft, DIY and home-improvement projects you never finish
👩‍🍳Kitchen gadgets for a healthier diet or that you’ll use “one day”
📃Courses, workbooks and printouts
👗Clothes that don’t fit

It can be helpful to remind yourself of the emotional and practical benefits of letting go. From a practical standpoint, it simplifies storage, makes cleaning more efficient and allows rooms to regain function. “The home stops being a storage unit for unfulfilled dreams and intentions and becomes a support system for your current life,” Lightfoot says. Saying goodbye to these emotionally charged items can also provide closure around old chapters, an acceptance of life transitions and even “a feeling of accomplishment rather than loss,” she says. “People realize they didn’t fail, they simply evolved.”

📝 Jolie Kerr, The Washington Post, January 21, 2026

Read More 👇
https://nasmm.blog/2026/02/18/why-aspirational-clutter-is-some-of-the-hardest-to-part-with/

03/16/2026

from Designing Moves President, Christine Smart

~ Navigating Long-Distance Caregiving ~

Lessons from three decades of caring for aging loved ones from afar.

It started in 1995 — following multiple ten-hour trips over four years after my mother-in-law’s stroke. My father-in-law was managing with a home health aide, and for a while, it worked. Family members all lived out of town and had jobs that didn’t allow for extended stays to check in. We discovered the home health aide that was offering care, cleaning, driving to doctor appointments and helping with bills had been quietly writing herself raises from their accounts. That betrayal shattered not just the arrangement, but the sense of safety my in-laws had built around their independence. It became the beginning of a long education in long-distance caregiving.

After that, we moved my grandparents closer to my parents’ farm so my mother could care for them directly. The four-hour round trips for doctor’s appointments had simply become unsustainable. Now, years later, I find myself in a similar position with my own parents. Memory loss has moved my mother into a nursing home, and once again I’m reminded of how isolating this journey can be – the travel, the uncertainty, the constant questions of who you can trust. We are blessed though, my brother relocated to the farm to help with the day to day. I can help with doctor appointments, phone calls and navigating estate planning. My brother and I make a good care team and we couldn’t do it without each other’s help.

What I’ve Learned...

🌍 Get to know their world before you need to.

📝 Get legal documents in order now.

👩‍⚕️ Vet in-home help carefully.

🌳 Think carefully before uprooting them.

♟️Don’t overlook the senior center.

🧰 Check out state and county resources.

Long-distance caregiving is hard. There’s no way around that truth. It asks something of you that proximity and logistics can never fully solve — it asks you to love across miles, to trust others with what matters most, and to make difficult decisions with incomplete information.

But it is also, in its way, one of the most profound things a family can do together. The connections forged in these seasons — between siblings, between generations, between neighbors who become something like family— are real and lasting. Start early. Build trust deliberately. Ask for help. And whenever you get the chance to sit beside your loved one — take it.

Written from personal experience — with love for every family navigating
this journey.

Read More 👇
https://www.designingmoves.net/post/navigating-long-distance-caregiving

03/05/2026

Floor plan design is a service Designing Moves offers clients. Rooted in President Christine Smart's interior design education and background, we see over and over again how valuable accurate floor plans are to executing a successful move.

📐 Professional floor plan design helps avoid costly decor mistakes, ensures large pieces will fit into a space well, and creates move day efficiencies placing furniture correctly the first time. Working with a professional offers peace of mind that plans will be precise.

📞 Floor plans also function as a communication tool. When everyone is working from the same information, the threat of misunderstandings and mistakes is minimal. 

🏠 Whether you are planning a major renovation, a custom closet, or an interior decor redesign- when the layout is right your space functions better and works harder for you.

Read More 👇

https://www.suziethefoodie.com/why-accurate-floor-plans-are-the-foundation-of-great-home-decor/

02/27/2026

One area we often tackle at the beginning of a downsizing journey is the pantry. Disposing of expired foods, organizing the inventory, and ensuring items are easy to see and access. While this practice creates more functional storage spaces, addressing food storage areas goes beyond space management.

As we age, so does our immune system. A weakened immune system makes it harder to fight infections, which include foodborne illnesses. According to the CDC, up to 50% of those 65 and older with a lab-confirmed foodborne illness will be hospitalized 

Simple practices, like avoiding cross contamination and choosing less risky food options (see CDC chart), can make avoiding illness pretty straightforward. A motto to live by is, "when in doubt, toss it out." By understanding risks and best food safety practices, seniors can continue to enjoy their favorite foods while still protecting their health. 

Read more 👇

https://www.cdc.gov/food-safety/foods/adults-65-older.html

https://www.iowapoison.org/prevention/prevention-for-seniors/food-safety-for-seniors

01/22/2026

We often have clients that may not quite be ready to move into a senior living community, but are beginning to see their everyday needs change. Aging in place options can offer seniors resources to keep them in their homes longer. Innovative and aesthetic alternatives are also becoming more available all the time!

As you evaluate your space, you may consider:

⚠️ Clearing pathways and removing trip hazards

🪜 Robust safety systems in staircases

♿ Enough clearance for a walker or wheelchair through doorways

🔆 Ample and accessible lighting

Maybe a new walk-in shower is in the future, but starting small can prevent overwhelm and begin the journey of your home aging with you! Partnering with a Senior Move Manager can take out a lot of guesswork and provide guidance along the way.

For an insightful room by room checklist, read more 👇
https://www.aarp.org/home-living/aging-in-place-checklist/

If you are planning on living in your home long-term, consider making upgrades in some of these 10 areas in your house to help ensure safety.​

01/06/2026

from Designing Moves President, Christine Smart

~ My Word of the Year is Unsubscribe ~

I missed paying a bill in October. Not because I'm disorganized or irresponsible, but because it was buried under hundreds of promotional emails I received. I found out from a persistent call that I had not paid my last bill. I do not like to get statements by email since they are easily lost, but some companies are charging $3.00 to have a mailed statement.

That was my breaking point.

My word of the year is unsubscribe. And honestly, it might be the most liberating thing I've done for myself in years.

We talk about decluttering our homes, organizing our closets, and tidying up our physical spaces. But what about the digital chaos quietly suffocating us every single day? The 15,000 unread emails. The phone storage constantly full. The endless scroll through duplicate photos we took "just in case."

Digital clutter isn't just annoying—it's costly. That missed statement could have caused a problem. Important messages from actual humans get lost in a sea of "FLASH SALE" and "You won't believe this ONE TRICK." We waste mental energy scanning, scrolling, and ignoring instead of focusing on what actually matters.

So here's what I'm doing about it, and what you can do too:

📨 Start with email. Every newsletter you haven't opened in three months? Unsubscribe. Every retail store sending daily promotions you ignore? Unsubscribe.

🖱️ Set up filters. Route receipts and confirmations into a separate folder automatically.

❌ Delete the obvious. Screenshots from 2022. Blurry photos. That PDF you downloaded and never opened...

📱 Update your phone. If you have a newer iPhone, iOS 16 and later has a built-in duplicates detector that merges duplicate photos in seconds. It's almost magical how much space you'll reclaim.

The goal isn't perfection. It's breathing room. It's finding the invoice when you need it. It's opening your phone without that low-level anxiety about storage space. It's reclaiming your attention from the companies fighting for it.

Read More 👇
https://www.designingmoves.net/post/my-word-of-the-year-is-unsubscribe