08/30/2026
🏆🚨 BREAKING NEWS: EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH ANNOUNCEMENT 🚨🏆
After an exhaustive selection process involving zero other qualified candidates, countless hours of intense deliberation, and absolutely no outside influence whatsoever…
We are proud to announce that JASON has officially been named EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH FOR AUGUST! 👏
Yes. JASON. AGAIN.
At this point, we’re not even sure if this is an award anymore or just a cry for help. 😂
Jason has demonstrated an unmatched commitment to the company by:
🔨 Showing up
🔨 Doing approximately what is expected of him
🔨 Occasionally going above and beyond, usually by accident
🔨 Successfully operating power tools without becoming a local news story
🔨 Spending company money like it’s coming out of someone else’s bank account
🔨 Taking several “five-minute” breaks that somehow last 37 minutes
🔨 Providing absolutely critical management oversight from wherever the nearest chair happens to be
🔨 And, most importantly, being the only employee available to win the award
👏👏👏
Management would also like to recognize Jason’s outstanding achievement in Employee of the Month Longevity, having now accumulated more Employee of the Month awards than anyone else in company history.
So congratulations, Jason! 🏆
Your dedication, questionable decision-making, excessive caffeine consumption, and remarkable ability to somehow keep Steele & Saw moving forward have once again been recognized.
Please enjoy your prestigious Employee of the Month title, which comes with no raise, no bonus, no extra vacation, and absolutely no additional benefits whatsoever.
But hey…
YOU GET A FACEBOOK POST. 😂😂😂
Congratulations, Jason! 🎉