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Mandy's Memorial, 4031 Highway 17 Byp, Murrells Inlet, SC (2026)

03/18/2026

Today is Mandy’s birthday - a day we once happily celebrated with family and friends, parties, special dinners, cakes, balloons, and gifts. But for the last few years, Pete and I have had to find comfort and contentment in reminiscing about Mandy’s childhood birthdays. And this year we will do so once again.

Fortunately we have lots of photographs from Mandy’s birthday parties to jog our memories. This year I also pulled out Mandy’s Baby Book, and I remembered how happy we were to be blessed with a little sister for Matt. I read the entries I had written years ago about her first steps, her eating and sleeping habits, her favorite toys and games, and so much more. And along with the book, I discovered some interesting, but forgotten, items from Mandy’s first few months/years.

The first item was Mandy’s hospital photograph where she appeared to be either falling asleep or struggling to wake up for the photographer. Her eyes were barely visible, and fuzzy brown hair covered her tiny head. I never cared for that pic so I left it in her book long ago, preferring the photo that Pete took as we were preparing to head home from the hospital a couple days later. In that pic I cradled Mandy in my arms, her blue eyes dark and mysterious above her rosy cheeks.

I also found a note from my Aunt Betty. She and I had become very close when Matt was born. At that time, my Mom was seriously ill, and so Aunt Betty had stepped in to help me out when she could. She called me nearly every day to check in and make sure that Matt and I were doing okay. She was a great comfort to me as I tried to adapt to the changes that were occurring in my daily life. Aunt Betty was very much aware that my doctor had decided to induce labor when I was 2½ weeks past my due date so her note read as follows:

“FINALLY!!!!!!! How happy I was to hear from your Mom & Dad and know that Mandy was finally here! I don’t think I could have been any happier if it were my grandchild. You know the old saying ‘good things are worth waiting for.’ I think this is true in this case. I’m sure you four will be happy and have a happy life ahead of you. I guess she just wanted to have a day that was her very own.”

Aunt Betty’s support at that time was priceless to me, but her words are even more meaningful now. Mandy was certainly worth waiting for as she was one of the greatest blessings of my life. And the four of us truly did have a happy life together. With time we came to realize that Mandy’s late arrival was only the beginning of her determination to live her life her own way, always doing what she wanted to do when she wanted to do it.

Another thing I found was a lock of Mandy’s hair from a haircut she received when she was five years old. It’s beautifully blond and soft as can be, and I loved holding it in my hands again because it brought back memories of so many times I had brushed Mandy’s hair, added some barrettes, pulled it back into a pony tail, or braided it.

These things are not simply “things” – they are treasures that carry memories of happy days in our lives. Pete and I will always be grateful for these keepsakes that evoke memories of the joy Mandy brought into our lives. We will always be thankful for our memories of Mandy’s birthday celebrations through the years. But we will be forever .

01/21/2026

Tomorrow will mark eleven years since Mandy passed away, and I know that it will be a bittersweet, emotional day for me. But it will also mark eleven years that I have collected quotes about grief. As odd as it may seem to some of you, such quotes can alleviate some of my pain, and even provide some comfort, because they serve as reminders that most of us have experienced devastating, life-changing losses, and there’s no need to feel alone in our grief.

One of my more recent quote acquisitions comes from author Zoe Clark-Coates: “Small things can trigger a fresh wave of grief…a smell, a look, or perhaps a song…within seconds you are flung into a time machine and are transported back to that “moment” when time stood still and the world had crashed at your feet.”

Now, after eleven years without Mandy, I am not often transported back to that particular day when my world crashed at my feet, but I do experience an onslaught of emotional reactions at the sight, sound, or smell of something unexpected. It may be just a commonplace item or an everyday experience, but when they seem to pop up out of the blue, they catch me by surprise and memories of Mandy overtake me.

It was only a couple weeks ago that Pete and I were being seated at one of our favorite restaurants when I noticed two young women at a table nearby. One of the girls had long blond hair that not only seemed to be the exact shade of Mandy’s hair, but also fell across her shoulders the same way that Mandy’s did. I could imagine Mandy sitting there having lunch with a friend although I knew in my heart that it just wasn’t possible. Then, only a few minutes later, the young woman reached into her purse, took out a hair scrunchie, and pulled her hair to the back of her head. That’s when I could feel tears forming in my eyes as I remembered how Mandy often had a scrunchie around her wrist. Then my thoughts traveled further reminding me that I had found a black scrunchie at the bottom of Mandy’s purse all those years ago, and my tears multiplied.

This past Sunday Pete and I went out for breakfast, and when our server came to greet us, she said that she remembered me as soon as she saw my necklace. (We first met Melissa several months ago when she had complimented me on my necklace. I told her about our “Cupcake Queen”, and I explained that my necklace had been designed by our son, in memory of our daughter, and so I wear it close to my heart.) I wasn't expecting to have someone tell me that they remembered my story, but it was exactly what I needed to hear that morning. Her smile, along with her words, warmed my heart and suddenly my day was a little brighter.

The great thing about an unexpected happening is that it could trigger smiles as we’re transported back to happier time. The not-so-great thing about something unexpected is that it could trigger tears as we’re transported back to a not-so-happy time. And at times they could trigger both smiles and tears. Early on in our grief counseling, Pete and I learned that there will always be tears, but if we strive to recall the happy moments, there will always be smiles. So bring on the blond hair and the soft blue eyes, the scrunchies, the cupcakes, and the Easter bunny ears…throw in a boxed wine Halloween costume, a cardboard Elvis or an inflatable leprechaun once in a while… anything that continues to provide a connection to Mandy.

What I love most about unexpected triggers and reactions is that they bring on Mandy memories. Our family is fortunate to have nearly 34 years of wonderful memories of Mandy to remind us of the joy she brought into our lives. They are a constant reminder that our connections to her will never be broken and our love for her will last forever.

12/29/2025

At Christmas time many of us strive to find perfect presents to place under the tree, but some of the best gifts aren’t covered with pretty paper and colorful ribbons. Some gifts aren’t “things” that can be held in one’s hands. Some gifts are not anticipated, but are simply given as a sign of friendship. Some may be spontaneous like a warm hug. And sometimes I have received gifts that others may not recognize as a “present”, but more like a loving gesture. These are often the best gifts because they always come from the heart.

This year Pete and I received something that brought us smiles and warmed our hearts. It came to us by way of a message from Mandy’s friend Jackie on Christmas day. It seems that a group of Mandy’s co-workers from her first journalism job at the Index-Journal in Greenwood get together once or twice a year, and they always include a photo of Mandy in their gatherings. When they met a couple weeks ago, they took some silly holiday pictures of each of them including the one of Mandy's framed photo which I've attached. Jackie also sent us a collage of the group pictures that she had created, and we loved seeing all their smiling faces.

In her message to us, Jackie explained that Mandy’s photo rotates each time they meet, going home with a different one of them as they conclude their visits. Jackie said that she wanted us to know that Mandy’s memory is still always with them. And while we’ve been assured by many of you that you will always remember Mandy, it’s comforting to be reminded that her memory lives on. Our thanks to Jackie and the rest of the I-J group for sharing your fun photos with us.

We will be forever thankful that Mandy was fortunate to have so many amazing friends who have now become our friends too. We are grateful that you continue to include Mandy when you’re having fun and making new memories together. And we are grateful for your gift of making us smile just when we needed to be reminded of how deeply Mandy was loved by so many.

11/24/2025

Yesterday Facebook reminded me of a post I wrote 10 years ago. The beautiful photo of Mandy that I’ve attached below accompanied my thoughts at that time when I was still reeling from the emotional roller coaster ride that followed Mandy’s sudden passing. I noted how drastically my life had changed in a matter of minutes just 10 months prior to writing that post. I was devastated by feelings of loss, my strength was being tested beyond anything I ever imagined, and there were moments when I wasn’t sure that I could go on. Thanksgiving was quickly approaching and there seemed to be reminders everywhere that we should all be grateful for the blessings in our lives. Yet I was overwhelmed with sadness, and I found it difficult to be thankful for anything knowing that Mandy would not be here to share the holiday with our family.

As the years have passed, Pete and I have come to accept that we will continue on this journey of grief throughout our remaining days. We understand that we will continue to experience ups and downs, joys and sorrows, smiles and tears…and I know that there will continue to be moments when I’m overcome with multiple emotions all at once. That’s how it was for me yesterday as I read my own words. I found myself smiling as I remembered Mandy’s blue eyes and her sweet smile, and yet I could feel tears welling up as I thought about how much I’ve missed her.

When I reached the end of that post, I saw once again that Matt was among those who had commented on it. And this is what he said:

“The story behind this picture is a typical Mandy story as well. Mom wanted us kids to get pictures taken together, and we told her that we couldn't get our schedules to work out (I blamed her night owl hours, and she blamed my 9-5 hours), and we told mom that it wouldn't happen that year. In an effort to surprise her, Mandy, Missy, and I scheduled an appointment at Walmart - the only place that had an opening. The photographer was excited to do photos of adults since she had been working with (bad) kids mostly. Turns out that the Christmas sets & backdrops they had were small for pictures of little kids. The 3 of us had to get really close - closer than an adult brother and sister should get - in order for all of us to be in the frame and inside the background. Little did the photographer know that we would be in there laughing and messing around with the props, toys and sets for a good hour or two. I'm sure she was happy when we left, but we really had a good time together that day. Towards the end, the photographer offered to take some pictures of Missy and I and some of just Mandy and that if we didn't like them, we didn't have to pay for them. That wasn't really why we went, but we did it anyhow. When they were done, typical Mandy didn't want any of hers, but Missy suggested that my mom and dad would probably like one, so we bought them. I'm really glad we bought those individual pictures, but I'm really glad that we did in fact make time to take those pictures.”

As I finished reading Matt’s comment, I was once again feeling overwhelmed, not with grief, but with gratitude. I will always be grateful that he, Mandy, and Missy made time to take those photos, and I‘m happy knowing that they enjoyed the time they spent together that day. Pete and I framed these photos and have them hanging on our “Family” wall where they serve as a pleasant reminder of a time when all was right in our world. I may be biased, but I’m sure that Pete and I were blessed with the best kids ever! They have brought much love and happiness into our lives, and we are so proud of them.

Later this week we will be thrilled to have Matt and Missy here at the beach with us, and as we’ve discovered over the years, Mandy’s spirit will be with us as we celebrate Thanksgiving and Matt’s birthday – after all she was always up for having fun!

09/29/2025

If you’ve ever lost a very special loved one, you may have experienced the difficulty of letting go of their possessions. And so it was for Pete and me when we lost Mandy. Her bedroom closet was filled with clothes that were very typically “Mandy’s style” and many of them reminded us of specific occasions when she wore them. There were various pieces of art that Mandy created and books that she read. There were mixing bowls and pans that she used to bake the cupcakes that everyone loved. As would be expected, her purse held her wallet and keys, but there was also a small vial of perfume (one of her favorite scents), a small tin of Altoids (another favorite), and some Purell sanitizer with the scent of “Ocean Kiss” along with a tiny seashell (reminders of Mandy’s love of the ocean). And there was so much more throughout her condo…so many possessions whose monetary value is now far exceeded by their emotional value to me. Each and every piece emanates a sense of Mandy’s presence simply because she had once held them in her hands.

We realized from the very beginning that it would be impossible for us to keep all of Mandy’s belongings so we placed some of our favorites throughout our home where we can see and/or make use of them daily. Then we offered others to family and friends, and donated some to charities. There were items that we stored in bins in our attic or loaded onto the shelves in the closet of our home office. Every few months I sort through these storage bins and boxes to determine if the time has come to let a few more things go. This method has given us the opportunity to offer specific things to individuals that we feel would appreciate them as much as Mandy did.

Just a couple weeks ago I decided to straighten up our office closet once more, and I managed to let go of a number of things. And then as I turned from the closet, I was faced with the mementos of Mandy that are hung on the opposite wall. Our office was originally Pete’s work space when we first moved into the house so he chose the décor. Therefore the shelves are filled with his collection of die-cast fire engines, and three of the walls display mementos from his fire-fighting days. But one wall highlights some family memories and that is the wall that caught my attention that day.

As I scanned across the wall, some of Mandy’s awards from the South Carolina Press Association caught my eye and I remembered how she accepted those awards at the association’s annual banquets and then hid them away until Pete insisted that she allow him to display some in his office. There’s a copy of the first front page Mandy designed while working at her first journalistic job in Greenwood, SC. Once again, Pete had to ask her for a copy so he could frame it and hang it. I realized that I hadn’t looked at that newspaper for quite a while, but as I read over it once again, I was reminded that Mandy’s friend Tasha had written not only the lead article but another as well, and I found myself smiling as I thought about their friendship. The second article was about a community memorial service planned at a cemetery in that area. It reminded me that Pete and I had been invited to a similar service here in Myrtle Beach just months after Mandy’s passing. We tried to attend the service, but as we neared the cemetery we opted to drive by when we realized we just weren’t ready for an experience like that. And that memory brought tears to my eyes.

There’s a metal badge from a Chevrolet dealership in Maryland that Mandy gave to Pete one Christmas because the dealership was owned by another family who just happened to share the name Criswell. I recalled how she told us about googling that dealership and searching to find a badge that she could purchase. I smiled as I remembered how Mandy always gave unique gifts that were perfectly suited for the recipient, and I chuckled as I remembered how she kept an album that included photos from her crazy Google searches.

High on the wall there’s a fanciful, colorful depiction of her name that I think Mandy bought on vacation one year. It’s a perfect banner to display above some of her possessions because it’s a reminder of her bright, cheerful personality. Looking over it, I couldn’t help but smile.

Finally, near the ceiling there’s the hat that Mandy is wearing in a couple of the photos I’ve shared. It was a part of her farm girl outfit that she put together to wear to the Aynor Hoedown one year. She wore it again when she made her own tractor to complete the costume for a party. I let the boots go early on, but held onto the dress until just a year or two ago when we gave it away with the hope that another fun-loving young woman would be happy to own it. But the hat will remain on that wall, a loving reminder of a beautiful young woman who loved having fun. And by then I was smiling through tears.

I understand that letting go of a loved one’s possessions is a part of the grieving process. I am aware that some people dispose of their loved one’s belongings immediately while others hold on to everything. I can only say that this is the process that works for me. I’m happy with the daily reminders of our daughter, and I’m okay with the smiles and the tears I experience on occasion because they are brought on by the thoughts and memories of Mandy that flood my mind. In my heart I know that although I continue to say farewell to Mandy’s material possessions, I will never let go of the love we shared.

08/25/2025

It wasn’t long after Mandy passed away that thoughts of her being forgotten began to weigh heavily on my mind, and I felt a tremendous responsibility to ensure that my precious daughter would be remembered for years to come. I’ve since learned that such concerns are not uncommon among those who have lost dearly loved ones. Of course friends and family have often said that they would always remember Mandy, and they’ve shared some of their favorite memories. But I’ve always believed that Mandy could have had an impact on many more people if she had only been blessed with more time.

As our family began our journey through our grief, Pete and I searched for ways to establish memorials and continue Mandy’s generosity in helping others less fortunate. At the same time Matt took it upon himself to create a design in memory of his sister. He understood that it had to be something that Mandy would have approved of – not too ornate or gaudy, but rather tastefully simple. He didn’t want to display her name or any specific information because he believed that Mandy would not have wanted to draw too much attention; the final product needed only to be meaningful to those who knew and loved Mandy. So he began to concentrate on a cupcake design. After all Mandy had come to be known as the “Cupcake Queen”, a title bestowed on her by her editor during her early days as a journalist. The design is easily recognizable as a cupcake topped with lots of fluffy frosting and there’s an “M” for Mandy in the cup. Matt then had some car window stickers made, and we’ve traveled with a cupcake on the back seat window of every vehicle we’ve owned ever since.

Once he saw Matt’s creation, Pete suggested having a necklace created for me by using the cupcake design. We worked with a local jeweler who surprised me by having it completed a couple weeks earlier than he had promised so that I would have if for my first Mother’s Day without Mandy. And now I never leave home without it. Whenever anyone comments on it, I ask if they would like to hear the story behind it. And I always end by explaining that it was designed by our son in memory of our daughter and that is why I wear it close to my heart. Now, 10 years later, I can’t begin to imagine just how many caring people have listened to me as I relate Mandy’s story, and I’ve been happy to recently discover that some have listened and remembered.

A few weeks ago I had an appointment for my annual dermatology exam. When my doctor’s assistant led me to the exam room, she said that as soon as she as she saw my necklace, she recalled meeting me last year and she remembered Mandy’s story. I have to say that I was thrilled when she told me this. Following my appointment, Pete and I treated ourselves to brunch, and as we entered the restaurant, the hostess commented on my necklace. She said she had a friend who would love it, and she asked if it had taken me very long to find it. So of course I asked if she wanted to hear how it came about, and when I finished she thanked me for sharing with her.

Just a week or so later we were again out to eat, and when the server approached our table, she remarked on my necklace and said that it had caught her attention immediately. As always I asked if she would like to hear the story behind it, and she listened intently as I explained why I wear it. Before we left, she stopped by our table to say that her daughter Amanda also goes by Mandy, and she added that she would know me by my necklace next time we are there.

I am always comforted by these experiences because I will always talk about our children, and I love that Matt gave me the means to share Mandy’s story with people who will never have the opportunity to know her. It brings me joy when I explain to others that there was once an amazing young woman named Mandy who loved baking cupcakes for her friends and family, but sadly she was taken too soon.

05/15/2025

Mandy's plaque has been restored to its original luster and is now back up in front of Drunken Jack's on the Marsh Walk.

04/01/2025

We want to give everyone a heads up that we removed Mandy's Memorial plaque from the Marsh Walk this morning and sent it out to be restored. Last time we did this some friends were concerned that something had happened to it. Hopefully it won't be gone too long and will come back looking new again.

Mandy's Memorial

03/18/2026

01/21/2026

12/29/2025

11/24/2025

09/29/2025

08/25/2025

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