Crafts by Captain

10/29/2023

Yinz heard of “hot girl summer” and “big dick energy” WELL, get ready for “tiny dick winter”
I’ve officially fu***ng lost it 🧶💀

Inventory coming soon:

🤏 Plain tiny dick patch
🤏 Tiny dick patch embroidered with initials or a short word
🤏 A bag of tiny dicks
🤏 Stuffed tiny dicks
🤏 Tiny dick hat, with right hand or left hand laid brim
🤏 Tiny dick fingerless gloves
🎄 “It’s beginning to look a lot like F**K THIS” scarf
🫲 Giant rainbow condom hat with interior ribbing (for those of you convinced you still have a massive sc***ng in face of below freezing temperatures and a dick shrinkingly terrifying economy)

Prices starting at $5! Message here or my personal page to place an order!! (Seriously, place an order my family is drowning in dicks right now.)

10/25/2023

The German shells blanket for Elihu is finally done! (And officially Dia and Elihu approved 💕)

10/25/2023

Just on this couch making all sorts of things these days 🤰🧶🤪 hmu if you have an idea or want a piece. I am NOT taking commissions at the moment. My pace has always been wayward so to address that I will only be taking payment after you receive your item ✌️

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08/17/2023

I’m back at it guys! And I have a confession. I am so ashamed i have one back order left from the last time I ran this shindig that needs to be prioritized *cringes and tears of apologies*

Once that’s done, and I finish a personal project for my kids, I will be accepting orders again.

Same deal as always, its another period of my life that health reduces me to my bed (second pregnancy this time! 🎊)so I have all the time for all your needs. You draw me or show me pictures of what you’d like, I find a base pattern and we make it completely uniquely yours.

I’ve also teamed up with my husband and am producing custom chocolates with a medicinal twist. It’s his brain ch old and he is the horticultural master, I’m just a chocolatiers daughter playing W***y Wonka 🤗
Our chocolate lines are customizable if you would like to collaborate on a specific tast and style you desire.
If not, our current flavor in the conception and testing phases and two pregnancy relief chocolates in dark and white, a lucid dreaming chocolate, a mental health healing experience in a box, and an astral projection enhancer and meditation support chocolate. All herbs and mushrooms and grown from hour home garden with rare ingredients out sourced from local farms as needed. Chocolates for helping ease alcohol cravings natural minibars enhance with energizing herbs and vitamins to get you through long night are all in the conception pipeline at this moment.

Let us know what we can create for you!

01/26/2022

Slowly but surely! I appologize to everyone who has backed up orders. Here's a little update on some Christmas presents I was commissioned to do a couple weeks ago. Amigurumi can be time consuming and tedious but comes out so cute and fun 😁 Order what ever your imagination desires today ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

12/25/2021

Brooklyn modeling one of my most human loved and animal hated creations, the dog/cat hat 🤣

12/24/2021

Most recent order modeled by Leocadia and Elihu. "Beary Dear" hats shipped to California for a special new born and three year old 🥰🧶

12/24/2021

I was unable to fully post this in my page description because of character limits, so please read.

Due to a recently family/medical emergency Im unable to command a vessel, so I thought Id like to share my crafts with everyone here. I am not looking for a handout, I'm just trying to save my family. I was an artist before I became a captain. I crochet, paint, read palms, make jewelery, write poetry and music. These are my custom crafts I would like to share as gifts for that special someone in your life. I know Christmas shopping is over and we are all in a holiday hole, but please consider purchasing a custom craft to help me help my family during this time of need. Thank you for stopping by and reading.
Sincerely,
Captain Miranda Jean Holman

12/24/2021

Just some crochet ideas for you all!!