10/05/2026
I think if we wanted to live in a world where people stop saying “Not All Men” we need to first acknowledge the reality we’ve created by asking “what was that woman wearing?” Or “how much did she have to drink?”
If a waiter spills a cup of coffee on a customer - you don’t ask them “what color shirt were you wearing?” Or “did you ask them not to spill on you?”
You might think these aren’t the same; and maybe they aren’t. But why are we so quick to look for the thing a woman did wrong before we look at the person who harmed her?
It’s unfortunate, but fair, to stop saying “Not All Men” until we acknowledge the reality women experience where their softness, kindness, attraction, trust, or vulnerability can be and so often is, used against them in dangerous ways.
So why are women not getting married? “Hating on men”.
Is it because we really do hate men? Or we think every man is dangerous? No. And sometimes yes.
As women we have been taught from a young age, from experience or the experience of others, that we are responsible for preventing what someone else might choose to do to us.
I am Jane Doe. And I won’t stop fighting for a world where we no longer have to grow thorns to keep ourselves safe.
