10/31/2026
I really don’t advertise it much but I am prone to bouts of sadness. I’m not going to label it as depression but there are moments, days, weeks, months that this low grade sadness is just present. I used to try and chase it away because it felt like it was a weakness on my part but I’ve learned to work with it. I feel it and I get up anyway. I feel it and I still take my daily cold showers. I feel it and I still pray, meditate, and contemplate the sheer beauty of this universe. I feel it and I still look for reasons to be happy because I know…I know at a deep cellular level that even though I feel sad, happiness still exists.
There is a Buddhist saying that I cling to; “Mind is the sky, clouds are just weather…” and I can experience what I may need to feel but know there is something more real than the sadness. Another thing that helps is when I don’t label that sadness as “mine.” I am experiencing it. I feel it. I may even be expressing it but ultimately it’s not mine. It’s a frequency I’ve tuned into -possibly by habit but it’s never ever really mine.
This political climate has been a great challenge for me. The daily erosion of basic humanity puts me on edge. The cringy things people say and do and feel they have an absolute right to say and do them can send me into a tailspin but I still grasp at the hope that humanity is not yet fully extinct.
As most of you know, I am a collector - but besides the quirky and the unique vintage and antique things I collect and sell, I collect stories that help me regain footing when I feel the ground shifting from under me. This particular story happened about six months ago and I actually wanted to write about it when it happened but something told me to wait. It needed time to mature in my heart. It needed time to ripen.
Ever since my heart ablation, I have days where I really don’t feel too steady on my feet. I get slightly dizzy and then I level out. I was at the swap meet with my friend, Patrick and we stopped at the space of a guy Patrick regularly buys from. While standing there, I noticed that my shoelace was undone. I could feel the dizziness start as I went down to tie my shoe and out of nowhere another man - who was older than me- say to me, “I got this, friend…” and he knelt down and tied my shoe and then patted my shoe and looked up at me and just smiled.
The whole thing didn’t take more than a minute but it was such a perfect example of kindness. No strings attached. No gloating on behalf of the man that did it. No putdowns or ridicule towards me for not being able to bend down and tie my own shoe from the man, the vendor, or Patrick - just kindness. I did thank him and he just smiled again and walked away and I collected this simple story and tucked it into my heart and believe me when I say to you, I’ve thought about this every day since it happened.
You may think I’m ridiculous for holding onto such a simple story but I’ve had a rough few months. Probably more than likely self inflicted but everyday I pull out that story. It never gets bigger or more elaborate. It never gets smaller or disregarded. It stays basic, simple, and uncomplicated; a stranger helping me…I didn’t ask…I was just helped.
Now here’s the thing; I can’t tell that story and be sad. I can’t tell that story and play the victim. I can’t write this story and think that somehow the whole world is turning to absolute s**t because there was a person who cared enough to help me out and when I press “replay” in my mind, I am elevated naturally and everything unlike it becomes “the weather.”
I believe that every connection is a Holy Appointment. No matter how big or small. There is a reason why people show up in our lives and why we show up in theirs. We keep praying to God to do something instead of praying through God to use our hands, our feet, our eyes, ears, and mouth…for God to use our mind, heart, and soul.
Believe in the power of a smile. Act as if you are on a special assignment from the universe and do what’s yours to do. Sweep that floor, paint that picture, tie that shoe with purpose and intention and know that someone and many someones are glad that you are in their orbit right now just as you are showing up as.
Peace be to you.
John
