04/05/2026
To the neighbor who thought it was a great idea to scoop up my dogās p**p from your yard and drop it on my doorstep like some kind of self-appointed enforcerācongratulations. That might be one of the dumbest decisions Iāve seen in a while.
Waking up to a pile sitting on my welcome mat like it was meant to āsend a messageā was definitely something. But before you pat yourself on the back too hard, just know the camera on my porch caught the entire thing.
Letās clear something up. Dogs go to the bathroom outside. Thatās how it works. They walk, they stop, they do their business, and they move on. Iām not trailing behind mine like a hazmat crew every second he steps on grass. If a small patch of your lawn has you this worked up, that sounds like a personal issue.
Whatās really baffling is the effort you put in. Instead of just moving on like a normal person, you picked it up, carried it over here, and carefully placed it on my doorstep like it was some grand statement. Thatās not normalāthatās what someone does when theyāre looking for a problem to create.
So thanks for the footage. And just so weāre clearāif you step onto my property again to leave another one of your little āmessages,ā you can go ahead and explain that decision to the police instead.