05/30/2026
I got this idea from Pristine Clean by Twyla , LLC who got the idea from Brooms on the Move
Go to ChatGPT & ask them to write an unhinged autobiography about you. ๐คฃ itโs hilarious but also true! ๐
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๐๐บ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐๐ถ๐
๐๐ผ๐ป: ๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐ช๐ผ๐บ๐ฎ๐ป, ๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐ ๐๐๐ต, ๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐บ๐ฒ๐น ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ต๐ถ๐ฎ๐๐ผ
My name is Amanda Hixson, and for pretty much my who life Iโve been surviving on caffeine, determination, and what medical professionals politely refer to as โconcerning levels of stubbornness.โ
I am the owner of Hixson Cleaning Services LLC, which sounds professional until you realize itโs mostly me, a microfiber cloth, and an ongoing argument with dust particles that refuse to respect my authority.
Every morning begins the same way: a Starbucks Iced Caramel Macchiato in one hand and some migraine medication in the other. The coffee says, โYou can do this.โ The migraine says, โNo, you absolutely cannot.โ
As a solo cleaner, I routinely walk into houses and confidently tell myself, โThis deep clean should only take a day.โ
This is a lie.
Twelve hours later, I am standing on a step stool having an emotional conversation with a ceiling fan that nobody has touched since the Bush administration.
My hobbies include:
* Cleaning.
* Thinking about cleaning.
* Buying cleaning supplies I absolutely do not need.
* Reading books instead of sleeping.
* Looking at cleaning products in stores like theyโre celebrities.
* Telling myself Iโm not buying more cleaning products.
I spend my workdays transforming homes and my evenings wondering if I remembered to take after photos.
The answer is usually no.
I have photographed:
* Half a stove.
* One random cabinet.
* A corner of a bathroom.
I have forgotten to photograph:
* The entire rest of the house.
Somehow I still run a business.
People often ask me how long a deep clean takes.
The official answer:
โThat depends on the size and condition of the home.โ
The real answer:
โUntil I stop finding things that need cleaned.โ
A normal person sees a dusty baseboard and moves on.
I see a dusty baseboard and suddenly Iโm involved in a six-hour side quest.
Somewhere in Pennsylvania there are homes whose owners havenโt seen me in three hours because I discovered fingerprints on a light switch and entered a cleaning dimension where time no longer exists.
My business slogan should probably be:
โHixson Cleaning Services LLC: I came to clean the kitchen and accidentally detailed the entire planet.โ
When I am not cleaning, I am making Facebook posts featuring a cartoon version of myself.
This cartoon version is somehow:
* Better rested.
* Better dressed.
* More organized.
* Always holding a Starbucks drink.
Unlike real Amanda, who is usually carrying twelve cleaning supplies, looking for her Sprayway, and wondering where she put her phone.
My future plans include:
* Drinking more coffee.
* Buying more books.
* Telling myself I wonโt buy more cleaning products.
* Buying more cleaning products.
* Continuing my lifelong battle against dust, fingerprints, soap scum, and the mysterious sticky substance that appears on kitchen cabinets for reasons science cannot explain.
If you need me, Iโll be somewhere in a clientโs house saying:
โJust one more baseboard.โ
The end
